If you were to have a nosey through my inbox right now (could you clear it whilst you’re there please? That would be SUPER useful. K? thnx.) you would find 14 show invitations and numerous party invitations. But with 4 days to go, I just can’t bring myself to send that fashion week RSVP.
My first Fashion Week was SS17(read more about it here), I traveled across the country for an hour-long show and thought I had ~ made it ~. I always thought attending Fashion Month is how you know that you are doing well as a fashion blogger. So, to be honest with you I can’t really explain to you the feeling of uneasiness in my tummy that’s preventing me from attending. In fact, I haven’t even opened the emails – they’re sitting in my inbox angrily staring back at me. I feel as though I’m being admonished for my rudeness in not replying – I’ve even had reminders to RVSP!!!
This morning I sat down today to open them, respond saying I’ll be there and then book transport/accommodation … instead, I found myself making a pinboard of animal print fashion then writing this post.
The sad reality is that I don’t feel like I belong at fashion week, perhaps for the same reasons I don’t feel like I fit in with the blogging community either. Living in Wales, I don’t have a big gal group to go with and it’s probably a little sad to go alone. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve made some amazing online friendships with wonderful London bloggers, but I feel like to ask to go with them would be cramping their style or being in the way. Almost like a little limpet tagging alone when they’d probably rather go with their besties.
Last time, I desperately dropped a few kilos right before fashion week and hopefully be a bit more confident before going. I did, but I still felt like the biggest girl in the room. Regardless of my attempts at posing/dressing to hide it on Instagram, I have certainly put those kilos back on plus a lot more leaving me at a big size 14 but that is a ~ whole ~ other blog post. Memories of bitchiness and girls looking me up and down last year when I wore a 10/12 have me feeling like no amount of self-love will allow me to go back until I’ve lost the weight.
The last couple of fashion weeks I was heartbroken to have exams and not go despite wanting to. Yet, the issues I discussed above coupled with costs, energy, planning all those outfits, the pressure of content creation, the stress of running between shows etc … sounds like far too much of a headache when I have so many other things going on at the moment.
With all of this said, I cannot promise that come Thursday I won’t start complaining about missing out and wishing I was there. But for this time around, I think I have my answer to those invitations. LFW? No, thank you.