The Bisexual Myth

This afternoon, I sat in the Aldi car park eating root vegetable crisps (blaming you for this obsession Kate Longshaw) listening to the radio when Rita Ora’s new song about being bisexual came on.

‘Red Wine, I just wanna kiss girls, girls, girls’

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I’d heard about this supposed bisexual anthem before, but hadn’t heard it up until this point and honestly, I was pretty damn mad.

It’s not something I really talk about online, but I am bisexual (not only after red wine, all the time). I have dated males and females for around seven years now. But I haven’t been out as bisexual for seven years, much the opposite. For most of this time I have identified as either heterosexual or a lesbian, neither label ever really felt right for me but I felt a real pressure to be one or the other. 

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Throughout high school, I was friends with lots of LGBTQ people and I attended a school where bullying was quite heavily policed. Yet, even when surrounded by what you would expect to be the most accepting company possible I found myself being made to feel dirty for being bisexual. For me, there are two big issues that I have found with being bisexual, the first being that people often think its a myth and the second being that it is dirty/greedy. 

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Of course, I don’t speak for all individuals but personally I have 2000% faced more discrimination when I finally came out as bisexual than when I identified as a lesbian. Especially from the LGBTQ community, so many of my gay friends would become uninterested in me if I dated a male. I was treated like a traitor by those who were supposed to be an ally.

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Popular media still paints bisexuals in a light I have never identified with. Female bisexuals are just curious and will eventually find a nice husband to marry, or only like girls when they’re drunk (which is my issue with the song mentioned earlier). Male bisexuals are scared to come out as gay and are using this as a way to slowly come out. Why is it so hard to believe a person can be attracted to both males and females? Why are such rigid labels necessary? WHY CAN’T PEOPLE MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS AND KEEP OUT OF OTHERS RELATIONSHIPS/SEXUALITY?!?!?!?!?!

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I love that singers like Rita Ora are trying to open dialogue. Please don’t get me wrong, a dialogue is what we need. But the dialogue needs to be unproblematic. Writing a song which paints bisexuality as something which happens when you’re drunk (I’m looking at you too Katy Perry) perpetuates the idea that bisexuality is a myth.

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Let’s try to do better together. My comment section is always open for civil discussion, as are my Instagram DMs. Bisexuals reading this, you are valid, you are not dirty and you deserve to be accepted.

(Rant over)

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